


Reborn

by SegaBarrett



Category: Hell on Wheels (TV)
Genre: AU, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 19:28:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3867034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SegaBarrett/pseuds/SegaBarrett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elam reflects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reborn

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Hell on Wheels, and I make no money from this.

Cullen told him that Naomi and the baby were safe back in the Mormon town, and that they had all the time in the world, now.

To catch up, Elam thought bitterly. Cullen thought they could just pick up where they had left off. To be “true friends, always” again.

Elam wished that was the case. But he had killed a man, and one who didn’t deserve it. He had gone places that he couldn’t come back from. What did Cullen think he was going to do? Like Cullen himself hadn’t gone to that dark place, hadn’t been changed by all he’d seen.

They were in Cullen’s cabin – how the mighty have fallen, Elam considered. Once, Cullen had been the big man around here, but now he was living the same way Elam had, the same way he had tried to live with Eva.

Eva – he couldn’t believe that he had seen her again, that she had offered to go away with him. Part of him wished he had stayed crazy, had snatched her up and taken off, into the wind. That he had gone to New York with her and found his baby, their baby.

Declan Toole couldn’t love that little girl the way Elam did, whether they were related or not.   
Maybe when all this was over, he would still go to New York. Just get on his horse and ride. Maybe he could even do it right now – maybe that had been his mistake. Perhaps he shouldn’t have gone after Cullen at all. He’d made it back okay, hadn’t he? He had made it back too little too late, when there wasn’t anything left of Elam to save.

All that was left of him was in New York, just waiting to be found.

Maybe he’d even kill Declan Toole to get back what was his. It seemed right. 

All that was wrong seemed right these days; maybe because he wasn’t Elam anymore. He was the Bear Killer. And if Cullen thought he was going to press him, was going to make him stay, then he would see why they called him that. 

Now if Eva came by… Then maybe he would stay. Maybe he would figure it out. 

Eva was his sun, his stars, his night and his day. She was the only clear thing he could remember from before he had been attacked by the bear. Eva was the only clear thing he could remember, even now.

The door opened, and Cullen Bohannon walked in.

“We need to talk, Elam. They won’t let you stay here. They’re calling for your head. We’re going to have to get a move on, you and I. We’ve gotta figure out where we’re going. But you’re good at what you do. We’ll find somewhere, where you can fit in. Maybe once you get settled, maybe Eva can come join you.”

Elam’s hand grasped around the blade. He wasn’t sure how it had gotten into his hand. Maybe some things were just right, and others were just wrong.

He didn’t know what he was planning on doing next, but he knew it would answer the question – was he even Elam anymore? 

He would breathe and he would wait until he knew the answer.


End file.
